There are many great moments in a mother's life, some 'hard great moments' and some 'joyous great moments'. This year I am being blessed by experiencing both kinds in many different ways. And no.... dying eggs it's not one of them in this case, although that could be fun.Back in March this year I wrote this:
This week we lost our twin pregnancy at 12+ weeks gestation. It has been a smooth roller coaster, but roller coaster nonetheless. I have prayed through this experience to have Heavenly Father’s will to be done and to have peace. He has truly blessed me and answered my prayers literally. I feel a happy sadness and I know He will continue to carry me in His love.
"There are times when I feel I know all I need to know; that I am good to go conquer the world. There are other times, when I feel more cautious and humble and there are times when I clearly have a lot to learn and feel that I have no clue where to start. But I am grateful for all those times because together they are what life is all about: learning. Well at least I hope I can learn and continue to learn throughout all these times.
There are many more feelings that have touched my life this week…. I guess I was due for some learning here. I am grateful for a Father in Heaven who LOVES and GUIDES. I feel gratitude and pray I can continue to see His hand in my life. I am grateful for my husband and his LOVE and CARE at all times, he makes life beautiful to me and I am so blessed to have him in my life.
The list does not end there however… and I cherish my parents LOVE and SUPPORT along with my siblings’, dear friends’ , my caring midwife who hugged me and felt the pain with me and my own children's who have cared for, prayed and done everything you all could have done to be by me at this time. Thank you!"
Today, I find myself savoring the feeling of a very new life inside me again. I cannot begin to comprehend the beauty of it all and feel grateful that I am being given this opportunity to see my heart out there walking again before my eyes.It will be around next Easter time that I look forward to holding a little one in my arms and witnessing again the power of God in my life.
I am tired beyond I thought I could ever be. But it's ok, I'll take that. Hopefully soon I can function to a better capacity, in the mean time I love napping and reading. Thanks to my sweetheart for filling in for me.
Easter cannot come soon enough..... but I have a whole fall and winter to go through first. I think I can wait.... not really. Wait! When it's Easter next year?... I just checked and it's April 4th, so knowing my past history of 'guess' dates with my kids, it will be way past Easter...
I feel so exited to have the time come when it's time to die eggs again.
